Christmas

I love Christmas.  I don't have many  presents to buy, or lots of food to prepare, so it's always a chance to see people,  overeat, watch telly, go for walks.  Last year was my first Christmas single probably since my teens.  Part way through the year L asked if we could try again, so we're trying again.  In the run-up to Christmas I felt uncertain, I was looking back to last year, and how sad I felt.  And it seemed slightly unreal that he should have come back.  Reconciliation is a hard process for all concerned.  And I'm not sure if you can ever feel it's totally over.  But I've had a lovely Christmas, and am feeling settled and happy, so I hope this positivity will continue long into the new year.

Ebooks

I've just been reading my first ever ebook.  I downloaded Jennifer Egan's Visit from the Goon Squad to my netbook from the public library.  I've got it for 21 days, after which it will dissolve into bits & disappear.  I've almost finished reading it, and have been thinking about the experience of reading electronic versus print.  I found it very easy to read on the netbook.  I read quite quickly & what I hadn't liked about trying an e-reader previously was that not much text is displayed on the screen so you have to keep 'turning the page'.  However I found that hovering my cursor over the down arrow was very simple, and I could whizz through the pages, more easily in fact than holding a book.  However, what I find interesting is that I miss the sense of knowing where I am in a book by looking visually at where the bookmark is in the book.  It's made the story feel a bit disjointed.  The Goon Squad is a series of chapters about a group of people at different times in their lives, and with different narrators, so it is perhaps more difficult to follow than a traditional consecutive narrative.  But I think there is something about the physical sensation of getting through a book that's missing.  Also, I often read in bed, lying on my side with the book resting on the pillow a page at a time.  And I can't do that with the netbook, and I don't think I'd be able to do it easily with an e-reader, because of needing to turn the pages quickly.    The other thing which feels completely counter-intuitive is using electricity to read.   I know I could get some sort of solar recharger (maybe?) for my netbook, but at the moment it draws power ultimately from the national grid, and so seems wasteful.

But it's been a very easy way to get a library book.  And as someone who sometimes reads very quickly, and then forgets to take the books back, it's a good alternative to print, but I wouldn't want it to be the only method of getting books in future.

Good intentions

Start of academic year, autumn pretty much here, bit of a steep curve up to Christmas, time for some resolutions.

• Have bought a vegan cookbook to make a vegan recipe a week

• Will try for 3 blocks of 15 mins exercise a week (setting the bar v low)
• Will try to look out for locally sourced Christmas presents

Last time I set some resolutions I didn't keep them.  But the nature of being hopeful is to just start again.

And finally saw this today, and I just like it.

Dog Poet Transmitting....... 'May your noses always be cold and wet'

Gardening

I find gardening very therapeutic, but getting new plants is becoming addictive.  It's interesting to think about the garden in different stages, and to attempt to get colour & interest throughout the year.

My garden is at its best in early spring; there are lots of bulbs, and also spring flowers on the gravel area such as pulmonaria & aquilegia which spring up every year.

I'm now trying to introduce some more colour for summer, and also to improve the soil which is a fairly heavy clay.

The pond has been a big success I think, and has given me lots of pleasure looking at the snails, newts, frogs & water beetles zooming around. 

In a couple of weeks I'm going to get some shrubs pulled out that don't seem to support much.  And possibly I'll get a greenhouse, if I can bear to spend the vast price they cost.

Ideally at some point the garden will be perfect, and the weather will then become perfect for enjoying it.  I can but dream.

Autumn approaching

End of August, and autumn is on its way.  It's been an unsatisfactory summer weather wise I think.  No prolonged periods of sunshine to enjoy, and some cool temperatures.  What I always enjoy though is the easier commute, longer evenings, and the feeling of being off school even when you're not.

The run up to Christmas can be a drag.  But I always feel quite excited because of migratory birds.  And this year, I'm going to plant some flower seeds to overwinter, & I might even have a greenhouse which will add some new pottering possibilities.

Work seems to be entering a very irritating and frustrating stage.  I suspect that the budget cuts will make it increasingly so.  People become more defensive of their little areas, and rather than pulling together set out to fight for their own corner.  And I feel less and less proud of working in a university, the more it becomes an economic factory etc.  Read a good article about this today, can't find it now, but from these guys http://plutopress.wordpress.com/tag/des-freedman/

And I hope I'll get a dog before Christmas.  I wonder if it will be like a child, and give my life a purpose?

Cassandra

Blimey, well how was I to know that writing a blog about most people being good, and how we get too much focus on negatives in the media would lead to looting, riots, and demonstrations of the worse side of people?

I feel angry at the wanton destruction & lack of care for others that quite a few of the looters have shown.  But I know that to resist the temptation when everyone around you is grabbing stuff that seems to be going free would take a lot of willpower. 

It concerns me that the reactions to the behaviours have focused on retribution.  Haven't we learnt that locking up doesn't solve someone's lack of prospects.  And that our conspicuous consumerism, inequalities and general sleaze of many in authority are also not going to lead to a healthy balanced future.

Anyway, there have been some good articles & blogs I've read, which give me hope.


http://pme200.blogspot.com/2011/08/scum.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/aug/09/uk-riots-psychology-of-looting 

Camila from Kids Company in Indie

Human nature

Lots of things been happening, and lots of times thoughts of blog posts have floated in & out of my consciousness.  At some point I might write a bit about marriage guidance counselling, the use of fear as a motivational force & other stuff.
But today I've been thinking about the human need for bad news, and for hearing about bad people.  I don't read the tabloids much, but from people who do I hear that single mums, asylum seekers, benefit scroungers etc are the scourge of modern society.   Some people I know have countless stories of feckless individuals, and to be honest the crime thrillers I read or watch on tv are full of evil, depraved inhuman people.  And yet clearly these people are a very small minority.  So why do we give them so much of our thought?  Is it fear;  relief that we haven't turned out like that; a fascination with a more thrilling if unpleasant side to life?
I don't like the idea of a feelgood media, & find things like that Esther Rantzen hearts of gold programme utterly turgid but I wish that there was a bit more focus on celebrating the fact that most of us are decent, hardworking, and not entirely perfect but doing our best.